Want Lists

     So among my other "gems" I discovered in a box of papers tonight I ran into my old "Want List". Our lives change in such unexpected ways over time that I kind of expected the list to have no real relativity to my life now.
       So it was kind of ironic that somehow I managed to achieve all these things in my life and they are still relevant today. Obviously my list was not very superficial because those are the types of things that would have changed with time. And even though I forgot about these things, and got caught up in the bullshit of modern life, my life experiences gave me the wisdom and understanding I lacked to make those characteristics I wished for innate. I'm sure this is not the average "want" list of a 20 year old girl in today's society but here it is, written by yours truly about 8 or 9 years ago:

I WANT:

I want to be completely honest; both with myself and others
I want to learn to accept and love people for who they are, not who I want them to be
I want to say what I mean and mean what I say
I want to not care what others think and be true to myself %100 of the time
I want to love and be loved
I want to help others be confident in who they are and stay true to themselves (I have an ulterior motive here...people are much more interesting when they are not all the same:)
I want to See it All and Not be depressed by All I See
I want to accept that no "thing/accomplishment/place/person" will bring me permanent happiness, but that happiness is intrinsic and I'll always have it if I'm the one carrying it with me.
I never want to lose my connection with nature and earth/universe around me
I want to grasp and enjoy all the things/people that I connect with, even if it isn't permanent
I want to stop protecting myself and be open to life

       How did someone like me (the girl who wrote the sputterings in the previous post) end up so freaking Happy?
       Because I was always innately happy! It was the people and society around me that made me sad...and it's those of us who've visited the darkest corners of our own souls that come out the other side, enlightened for having gone through it.
        Hmmmm....I think it is time to make a new want list only I don't really "want" anything specific anymore. Is it enough to want to just live and experience, learn, and love? Why Yes, I think it is!

      When you put yourself out there and give all you have to offer, there's nothing left to hide and protect anymore: then you are truly free! FREEDOM baby - I love it!!