To Know How Far I've Come

It's important to remember how we felt and what we thought we knew...to see how far we have come.

While I embrace all that I have ever been and will ever be I am happy to have manifested myself out of the chaos and learned how to put my energy out there; instead of ignorantly entrapping it and letting it overrun me.

This is something I just found that I wrote on June 13, 2000: (I have edited down the length)

The world lives around me
Humming through.
My body aches, I want
To fall apart.
I can no longer bend.

Where does sanity keep?
In the waves of the ocean,
That promise to
Rip me from my bones.
I no longer care to think

I wish I could swell
A little further,
So I might burst.
Intangible:
Tight masks and iron cages.

A hard and polished stone
Goes silent in my chest.

I don't fit. A rubber band
Snaps against my wrist.
Red marked pain.
The atmosphere is too thick,
How do you all breathe?

Wash over me.
I see my own scream.
Ropes twist like snakes -
A sword I try and wield
Let me

Tighten that.
Cut your translucent coat.
I swim the channel.
Grab my own mind,
Shake it loose...